Reclaiming Our God-Given Role

Men, It’s Time to Lead: Reclaiming Our God-Given Role

The Biblical Call to Leadership

Men, since the Garden, have been instilled with a sense of duty and responsibility that is inherent to the dominion mandate (Genesis 1:28). Both man’s desire and design to lead are a natural good and in alignment with God’s creational order as head of his household. The problem unique to modern men is that they are told the authority that must accompany it ought to be thrown out like an old VHS player rediscovered in the depths of an attic. So, men are left with all the expectations of what they must do as provider, leader, and protector, without acknowledgement that it requires submission to their authority.

The Consequences of Relinquished Leadership
We see the fruit of this folly pervade our society. There is an epidemic of middle-aged single women beyond childbearing years angry at men. The “boss babe” shouts loudly to whoever will listen, “Where are all the good men?” while lamenting the “shackles of motherhood.” They’re angry because they believed a lie that originated from feminists, yet take aim at men as the cause of the feminist propaganda that left them lonely and unfulfilled. On its face, it seems absurd, and in one sense, it is. But if we look deeper, men bear responsibility—not in the way women would ever accept. That is, men went along with the lie and said nothing or, worse, championed it, creating an army of white knights who would be quick to abandon the field of battle in spring if they forgot to take their Claritin the night before.

A Call to Self-Reflection
Instead of taking the approach of the manosphere and complaining about the state of women today, I find it more productive for men to look in the mirror and correct course. Because, while feminists may try to convince us otherwise, the power and authority given to mankind have been entrusted by God to men. Patriarchy is inevitable; it is only a matter of what type of men will lead. Will they be courageous, self-sacrificing, and God-fearing men? Or will they be weak, manipulative, and self-serving ones?

Taking a Stand

It starts by saying, “No longer…”

This is rather easy to do if we only look at the areas where we feel most slighted in society or in our homes and release the built-up resentment we’ve let fester over time. But that is both ineffective and destined for conflict that may draw a single issue to the forefront but does not fortify the foundation.

Responsibility
So, what do we do?

We assume the responsibilities we have surrendered, starting with the ones that have worked out most conveniently for us. Maybe you have leaned into your role as provider but shifted the duty of managing the provision to your wife. Maybe you factored in which church she liked most when deciding where your family would attend. After all, the church is nice, “happy wife, happy life,” and those doctrinal disagreements probably fall into the secondary issues category anyway. Maybe you could afford to be the sole income earner so your wife could stay at home and raise the kids, but if you did that, you wouldn’t have as nice things, and she seemingly liked her job, so you caved, and your children are now, in part, raised by daycare workers. The point is to address where you got away with taking backseat leadership and assume the role God charged you to fulfill. Whether it’s dozens of small things or a few big things, they matter.

Set the Vision
As men, it is our duty not only to be the spiritual leader, provider, and protector for our family but also to cast the vision for where we are headed. To start, men, if you are not reading God’s Word every day, you must start. You cannot spiritually lead your home if you are not spending time in God’s Word. You are blind and will lead your family into folly. Pray for wisdom and discernment, and God will provide (James 1:5). Next, take the time to write out a family vision blueprint. Each family will look different, but here are a few places to start:

• Marriage: Communication, commitment of time, intimacy

• Church

• Discipleship of children

• Formal education

• Economic provision: How you plan to provide, both presently and for inheritance

• Observation of the Sabbath and biblical holidays

• Expectations of children in housework

While there might be some revisions, clarifications, and disagreements, one thing our wives will appreciate is the initiative you took in creating it. Reform is far easier for women to accept if they know you have put significant thought and prayer into it.

Practical Steps Forward
What’s next?

• Take time to identify all the areas you have abdicated as a husband and father. Big or small, write them down.

• Write down how you will correct them.

• Repent to whoever was affected by your abdication, change, and move forward.

• Write your family vision.

The Path Ahead

It is never too late to correct the course. The damage caused by feminism is undeniable. But be encouraged that correcting course does not require permission from the women who infected our culture with these ideas. It requires men to lean into their God-given duty to lead with integrity and self-sacrifice. Let us get to work!

• J.T. Knox